The Anger Exposed

Some say it's good to express anger, but I don't think so. It evokes negative emotional response patterns that leave you feeling bad. Anger is like diarrhea or vomit. Usually it's not the food we've eaten, but some other bug that's already in us. The sooner we get the real culprit out of our system the sooner the problem goes away. Anger is a toxic emotion that makes us feel terrible. It's an indication that something is out of balance. It is better not to get yourself angry. Rather than holding back your anger, it's better to find alternate coping mechanisms so you don't need to energize the anger in the first place.

How do you do that? The Roman philosopher, Seneca, said "A physician doesn't get angry at the intemperance of a mad patient, nor does he become upset when tongue lashed by a man in fever. Just so should a wise man treat all mankind, as a physician does his patient, and look upon them only as sick and extravagant." By being more patient and forgiving of other people's errors, frailties and mistakes, you can go a long way towards taking the wind out of your anger's sails. Anger is a response to the threat of loss. If you are mistrusting or paranoid, you'll get angry more often or more easily because you'll perceive more potential threats. Try to expect the best from the world and people.

If you feel confident and in control of your life, you'll be able to feel more secure, safer and less threatened. Self regulation can give you more control and the Happiness Response program also aims at helping you create an emotional gyroscopic stabilizer in you to balance you through hassles and times when you might be susceptible to feeling threatened.

Learn to dissolve and dispel welling anger by catching its early signs and using your head and your heart, instead of your aggression, to cope with the situation. Replace the anger reflex with forgiveness and the knowledge that you are in control. You don't want to get angry because it leaves you feeling weak and dispirited. The trick is to prevent yourself from developing angry feelings. That way you don't have to hold back the anger that grows inside of you. Albert Einstein said ``Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.'' Since it is we who unleash the wild animal part of our brain within us when we allow anger to flame, we do indeed act the fool.

There is growing evidence that holding back anger may be associated with cancer prone individuals. It's not the holding back of anger though. It's the lack of trust, irritability, tight holding on to negative feelings, free floating hostility and propensity to be easily upset or offended that's causing the held back anger.

In the Bible, Solomon says, "Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?" Treat anger like a fire which can burn out of control or be harnessed and put to productive use, like motivating you to return a defective product or giving you the courage to face someone you need to complain to.

-Rob Keal-